So not wanting to be infinitely date-less I decided to check some of the dating websites I’m registered at. One of the websites had mail for me. That’s good. Most of the time I find the letters (and profiles) pretty fruitless. Most of the men either a) don’t take care of themselves b) live 50 miles away or c) write stuff that sends my red flags flying. Today I encountered upon one such letter.
His letter read something like this: My name is (joey bag of donuts) and I’d like to get to know you better. By the way even though my profile says I live in East meadow, I really live in Hicksville. And the picture there, that isn’t me either (although I’ve attached a photo). Note: I click on the photo and although I sat behind my computer screen serene and calm, the mental screams could be heard throughout the universe. (Big fat dude with shirt open wearing a Cancun skullcap and a “mouth breather” to boot. Oy vey!)
Now I know I’m no runway model, by any stretch of the imagination I know I can do better than this.
He tells me “I’m a bad boy” and I let him know that I’m looking for a nice guy. Someone honest, single and knows how to treat a lady. He tells me he’s all those things. So I point out the misinformation in his profile, which shows he’s lying in his ad by not telling the truth. He tells me he has a stalker and if I had any experience in that area I would know how he feels.
Can you see the red flags?
LMAO!!! That's hilarious!! Hang in there, though. He's out there. And you are SO worth way more than Joey Bag of Donuts!!
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