Oh Solo Mio

So I’ll be honest and confess: it isn’t always easy being single.  And there are days (like today) when that’s especially the case.  Today sucks ass, it sucks balls.  It basically sucks whatever body part you wish to fill in that particular blank.

And while I confess to have had the blissful experience of hooking up last night, (bottle of lube still in my purse), there is now the pesky detail of another Saturday night to kill.  This wouldn’t necessarily be a problem if I hadn’t already made plans that required money to make happen (without refund of course) and single female companion bailed on me. 

Okay I might be abit harsh in saying she bailed, but this isn’t the first time she’s ‘changed her mind” or “is too tired/not feeling well”.  So after a half a dozen incidents I have made the mental note of DO NOT INVITE nor make plans.  She is officially in the category of friends that simply hang out…….whenever and once in a while.  I need to be okay with that.

Being in a program of recovery surrounds me and fills my phone with people who are also in recovery.  I also DO have other friends outside the program.

So being “companionless” for my Fuerza Bruta show at 10 pm tonight I am now scrambling for another body.  I’ve decided though to go it alone should it come to 4 o’clcok today without results.

Like the program (and that song says ) “I can’t let fear take the wheel and steer”

I’ll admit I did get creative/desperate in my reaching out to those I included in my last minute invite.  Including my ex-husband.  I know he’s cheapskate so I’m not asking my companion whoever that may be to pay for the 2^nd ticket.  Yep my exhusband.   He was a long shot, and perhaps a slighly desperate one.  The darkhorse in all of my invitations.  He was gracious as he confessed “You know how I’m a….a”  “couch potato?”  I answered.  “Well I was going to say a homebody.”  Jude rolls eyes

Of course I thought of how nice it would have been had MY SON been home, he surely would have gone with me,  I’m 99% sure he would have. 

This just might be the opportunity I’ve been waiting on to just FACE MY FEAR of doing stuff alone.  I haven’t really done much of that since I moved out.  Stay tuned.