So its now just over a year since I moved out on my own. Money has definitely been an issue. I still stick to my credo of positivity which is: God doesn’t always give me what I want, but he always gives me what I need. In other words, while getting out of the house to go anywhere (that requires money) hasn’t always been possible, being at home and having food to eat has been possible.
Of course I want things to be different, more abundant. I don’t want this to be possible by me working two jobs, never being at home and physically and mentally killing myself. Um…….that’s not exactly LIVING now is it?
The root of all my financial woes really was my country-sized debt complete with staggering APR percentages. Ouch. As of last May I told myself “Give yourself a year” And with that I cut up all of my store cards and all of my higher major credit cards. At the time, doing that was pretty easy. I then took it one step further and actually called up and closed those accounts altogether. The difference being I didn’t have the “easy” option of just calling up the company and ordering another card.
I then had to strongly consider what I was trying to accomplish and why I was trying to accomplish it. Because I was tired of living hand-to-mouth. I want a better quality of life. And if my life in sobriety has taught me anything it this this: With God all things are possible. Including becoming debt free.
Lately I’ve been feeling abit weak as I look down at my shoddy black pumps desperate for a new pair. But I bolster myself by remembering a line from a movie in which the family was broke. The mom said “We’re broke. There’s no money for anything. We need to make the best of what we’ve got. Use it and reuse it and use it again.”
Not really sure if any of this makes sense to anyone but me. The bottom line is I’m trying to relearn the definition of living within my MEANS. I laugh that I say “relearn” as if I ever learned in the first place.
This *totally* makes sense to me. I lived like a pauper on and off for several years while I was trying to pay off an ENORMOUS hospital bill equivalent to the cost of a brand new car. While I've never really been a "big spender" that time taught me to truly live within my means and to determine the difference between what I WANT and what I actually NEED. On occasion I might get bummed out when I see other people who have new clothes, new cars, new gadgets--seemingly everything they want. The difference is many of them are up to their eyeballs in debt and I don't owe a dime to anyone, anywhere. That feeling is truly worth its weight in gold.
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