So today I’m supposed to get together with a gf of mine. The nature of our friendship has changed. She’s changed. She’s going through some things, not all of them healthy. Recently she had a breakdown of sorts. And while feeling internally terrified I pretty much said nothing. Quite honestly what was there to say?
She’s acting like there’s nothing wrong, so who am I to point out, “Um wtf is going on?” She’s been continually cancelling on me. We actually keep previously made plans about 2 out of 10 times. Mentally I’m done, but I know that’s a bad attitude. Its her who isn’t showing up for this friendship, this mentor/mentee relationship we’ve had for the last two years.
I’ve been praying for what to do. The other day she tells me “I’ve met somebody.” And while I didn’t say anything out loud all I thought was “Are you crazy?” You just get back from “being away” and jump into a relationship? Can you smell the desperation? She’s latching onto this life raft in the form of a man this time. I image we’ve all been there at one time or another.
Just her actions in doing this lets me know that she’s still sick and not reaching out for the REAL solution (God). It painful and frustrating to watch. I want to tell her this. I want to say “Is this really the right time for you to be getting into a relationship? Aren’t you getting involved for the wrong reasons anyway?” My old instincts tell me to run, run, run in the other direction. Big pussy that I am. It won’t make a difference how I feel because inevitably she won’t show up anyway.
She and I are supposed to get together later but sure as I’m sitting here writing this I’m almost sure she’ll come up with another excuse why she isn’t there……….yet again. Has it even dawned on her that I’ve moved on already and found another sponsor? In her sickness I doubt she’s factored that in. No matter, I will pray for her and remember how she was when God was the center of her life.
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