Smoke 'em if you got 'em................NOT

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/smokers-waste-a-year-of-their-lives-on-fag-breaks/689928/

So today we get an e-mail which (paraphrasing) reads:  “Smoke breaks will no longer be allowed during working hours.  Smokers who wish to smoke must do so during their lunch hours.”  Wow, are they serious?

The only thing I could think was they must have heard the same thing I did on 1010 Wins, (also see the above article).  It basically states that the average smoker uses one hour of work time to smoke.  I’m wondering if management heard about this and thought, damn we should cut that shit out pronto!

Of course when there are smokers in management this rule never seems to “take”.  Previously I’ve worked for other employers that when they have that “Great American Smokeout” (I think that’s what its called.  The employer has offered to sponsor a smoking cessation class for those wishing to quit smoking.

I once heard that the addiction of smoking is strikingly similar to quitting heroin.  Luckily I’ve had to quit neither of two.  It almost makes alcohol addiction seem carefree as a muthafucker.

As for the new rule at work.  I give it less than a week.  Shit like that never works because the addiction of smoking fucks with the moods and actions of the smoker.  AND because there is literary no way to ENFORCE it.  Not without firing good people/employees who also happen to be smokers.

Plus there are always people in management who smoke.  And people in management are just as addicted to that nicotine staining, wallet-draining, little firesticks as anyone else.  Of course they could also solve this situation by offering smokers the ability to split their lunch hour.  They could take two 15 minute breaks and one half hour lunchtime.

She Shoe Shamed Me.....

So this morning I was watching SATC.  Yep sometimes I still watch while having breakfast, God forbid I read.  Its mainly for background noise really, until I come up with a better way to start my morning.

In the particular episode I watched today it had Carrie feeling badly because someone made her feel bad about her expensive shoe fettish.  Now while I’m hardly in that league of shoe shopping, I’d be lying if I said I did envy Imelda Marcos.

The Fall is here and for the life of me I have NO CLUE where my boot collection is stored.  In the interim though are the delight of Fall shoes.  Usually some pumps, a leftover pair of black patent leather Mary Jane’s.  Without the means to do so I must find a way to replenish that part of my wardrobe.  I can figure that part out later. 

But for now the IMPORTANT question.  What to buy?  I’ve been scouring fashion mags and websites to see what is truly in style.  From there I usually temper my choice between what’s in style, what I consider classic and what my budget will allow.

And even with all the looking I do not truly SEE what’s out there.  Any thoughts?  Suggestions?

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – a DVD Review

So being deep into the 2nd of the trilogy of the Stieg Larsson novels I decided to see the Swedish movie version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

It was pretty good. Although like with most adapted book to screen stories the viewer would have greatly benefited from reading the novel FIRST. In the book, the reader was giving he benefit of so many additional details (ok some of which were tedious) but necessary in order to build up the suspense which ultimately lead to the thrilling conclusion of the story.

I’d like to say that while watching I wasn’t overly analytically dissecting the way the movie version told the same story, but I’d be lying. The movie I think has less depth without the benefit of reading the book first.

Do you see what I see?

If there’s one strong thing I’ve learned in recovery is that reality is all about perception. What one person thinks constitutes a shitty day, perhaps a day that’s overcast and filled with clouds; might be another’s ‘perfect day’ because they hate too much sunlight, etc. The proverbial ‘glass half full’ concept.

I have a gf and whenever she was into a new guy she would always project all these huge fantasies onto him. Often comparing all their similarities as if just the idea of it somehow signified that they might be a perfect match. Often I’d listen with a lot of mental eye rolling. I enjoyed her optimistic perspective, never saying too much about any of it figuring good, bad or indifferent she would find out first hand whether he was THE ONE.

I confess that perhaps long ago in another life I might have been like that optimistic young girl myself. As I sit here hardpressed for even a smidge of memory I come up empty.

I’m looking for a relationship. I won’t lie. Getting older doesn’t rob me of the romantic notions that I still have. While I don’t want something “full-time” (jude shudders, thinking of the mediocrity and mundaeity of full time relationships), I do want something, full of life, precious moments and (wait I gotta stop here I’m getting the dry heaves at all this mushiness). Okay……..I’m back. Ideally I’d like something, someone to hold hands with during the movies and make out with during the previews. Maybe abit more than that, but you get the idea.

I don’t think project too much in terms of fantasies about me and men. If anything I probably think more about the friends I make now, knowing, wanting them to be long lasting. Now with men I try to take it one day at a time. The slower pace helps me to not carry around unnecessary anxiety.

I told my sponsor earlier that I’d like to want more something more with this guy. Its as if I’ve got the parking brake of my enthusiasm on, I don’t want to let myself WANT something I can’t have. I’m trying to have patience here, but I know myself and am afraid of my feelings. I know that if a man acts “lukewarm” with me I’ll lose interest. (Jude shrugs) I know this. For me dating is about passion. That was one of the many reasons I loved D…….his passion, his attentiveness. Lukewarm actions and lukewarm men do NOTHING for me, nothing.

A BOOK REVIEW: The Film Club by David Gilmour

So for $5 I picked up a copy of this little novel. A story about a slightly out of work Dad who impetiously decides to let his 16 yr old son drop out of high school if he agrees to watch three movies a week. At first the father thinks his son will grow bored, complacent and eventually seek something more. What follows is abit familiar to any parent of a misguided teenager.



I enjoyed the conversations between father and son, how silently, almost too silently the father was cheering for whatever direction his son decided to take. Of course the movie discussions were a huge draw for me. It made me wish I had this guy for a father, (or at the very least an uncle of some sort). Light breezy, a commercial break amongst heavier novels.

A quote I really loved....from "The Film Club" by David Gilmour

So right now I’m reading this book called “The Film Club”. I found it in the discount section. It caught my eye not only because of the low price, but because at the very top it read “A true story about a father who let his son drop out of high school if he agreed to watch three movies a week.” Being a movie person, I was immediately intrigued.



The story is light enough with plenty of good movie information and a compelling story. What I’m enjoying most is the way the author explains the certain envitabilities in life. Particularly the moment when it occurs to you that you are finally OVER someone, a relationship, etc. Here is what he wrote:


“And how, I wondered how I could make Jesse under this, how could I rush him through the next months, even year, to that delicious end point where you wake up one day and instead of feeling her loss (that toothache0, you find yourself, yawning, putting your hands behind your head, and thinking, I must get a copy made of my house key today. I’m playing a rather dangerous games here, having only one key. Goregeously banal, liberating thoughts (Did I lock the downstairs window?), the heat having passed from the burn, the memory of its pain so remote that you can’t quite put your finger on why it went on so long or what the fuss was about, or who did what with their body (but look the neighbors are planting a new birch tree).


As if a chain on an anchor has snapped (and you can’t quite remember where you were or what you were doing), you notice suddenly that your thoughts are you own possession again, your bed no longer empty but simply yours, yours in which to read the newspaper or sleep or…dear me, what was it I was supposed to do today? Ah, the front door key! Yes.”


All of what he quote I found simply brilliant. It’s the reckoning that you are over Him…Her…whoever. Not because you found someone better but because when the gas runs out, all that’s left over is YOU. And I’m so very completely okay with that.