Every year I stay sober is another miracle in my life. When I decide to seek the Will of God instead of my own I inevitably avoid disaster and not just from the booze. With God in the center of my life I can face anything. For a poor girl from Brooklyn that’s huge. Only with God. Without him I was a frightened bunny afraid of her shadow. I was also a horribly SELFISH bunny who didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself and what she wanted. I never cared WHO I was hurting with my actions. I hated everybody and I hated myself. With the help of another (wonderful) sober woman I learned what God truly had in store for me. When I was in ENOUGH PAIN I became teachable and now I am grateful and STILL teachable. I look forward to the future each morning waking up instead of dreading it.
This year was pretty amazing. Not perfect but inspiring. At the beginning the year (due to some life changes) I started doing more things on my own and that was okay. My son relocated from Geneseo and became a part of my day to day activities and soon our “Dinner and a Movie Night” was born. Our relationship developed in a such a mature and respectful one that I know it was God who directed it.
In April I lost my brother Bobby to alcohol-related throat cancer. He was only 49. His death awakened a pain inside me I hardly knew what to do with. I used the tools of my recovery and surrounded myself with women who are worth their weight in GOLD.
I finally came to a decision to stop “messing with a man that wasn’t mine” and lied and told him I was involved with someone else and he believed me. A week later God stopped me from being a liar and brought a man who was once a friend and made him something much more.
The idea that I could not only date again but be in LOVE, is, as they say, beyond my wildest dreams. God brought me my match someone who lives and follows God as I do. Plus he is a phenomenol person, friend, lover, confidant besides. My adventures with him have been wonderful and brought immeasurable joy to my heart and my life.
When we started dating I knew he had stage 4 lung cancer but decided to just enjoy whatever time we had together. I’m so glad I did. God performed a miracle in him and he is as of now cancer free! I got to hold his hand as he said good bye to his mother, who raised 4 loving children, who no doubt were a reflection of who she was.
My man and I got to see Steely Dan something I’ve always wanted to do. I have a special someone now, and its someone who thinks I’m pretty special too. He joins in so many adventures together something I never thought would be possible. I know that God is at work as we both serve him remembering to give back what was so freely given to us.
My oldest and dearest friends were blessed this year too. By the grace of God they adopted a little girl and now are in full fledged parent mode. Last night I was remarking to Paul how he and I have come full circle after 17 years. That he is now raising a little one and I am the one in the beginnings of a loving relationship.
I also became reunited with a “long lost cousin” Michael Jeremiah. It was during this summer that I got to have the great opportunity of seeing his film debut and reuniting with another cousin April Lindner in NYC. Pretty awesome.
Another blessing I saw unfold this Summer was the wedding of good friend Rebecca & Eric Weissman.
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