Friday, December 9, 2011

Requirements to dating....

I remember growing up as a teenager and wanting to date.  My foster mom told me “No dating til your 16 yrs old.”  Sixteen?!  What was THAT all about?  Well she had her reasons, one of them most likely being “Cuz I said so."  But today her requirement had me thinking.

In my personal adventures and experiences in the last few years I’ve had the luxury of picking people’s brains.  So many women I’ve met, dealt with that same tender subject: low (to no) self esteem.  Where does it come from?  And when we date without it how badly are our choices? At sixteen I was dying to date, which was a joke because I HAD no self-esteem whatsoever.
What if the requirement to start dating wasn’t about age at all.  What if the requirement was one much higher.  Try this on for size: No dating until you love yourself completely.  No dating until you are totally in love with God the Father.  Wow.  As I sat in Starbucks today languishing over a drink this thought came to me.  If only I’d known then what I know now.  Hindsight is 20-20 and all that I guess.

But still I had to get this on paper.  Because I do believe that every girl should have this requirement met before dating and every WOMAN, yes grown ass women should have these two requirements met before they can have anything to offer to a man.  Because the love of self and the love of God are the FOUNDATION we need in order to love another completely, truly and most importantly without need. 

When we need someone to complete us we are doomed to failure.  When we need someone to save us we are doomed to relationship failure.  Guess what no one is coming to save us except HIM.  I’ve taken the last two years of my life to get to know God the Father.  He has saved my ass more times than I can count, even when I wasn’t asking him to.

HE taught me to love myself.  HE taught me to love everyone else and without his tender guidance which I seek daily, I am NOTHING.  But thankfully HE’s available 24-7 and guess what?  He’s even open on holidays ; )

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