Just a rant.

Lately I’ve been feeling ill-prepared.  For everything. For Spring, for the warm weather.  As much as I sit here wanting it all, I’m not ready.  Not body-wise, not clothing wise and certainly not money-wise.  I’m just not.

Nothing begins without a plan.  Of sorts.   So taking an idea I learned from Suz Orman, I’m going through my inventory and paring down.  I mean why hang onto things I’m no longer using?  Like that skirt that was cute once upon a time, but now when its worn and everytime I find myself wearing it,  I feel worn.  So why keep it? 

Or those sexy shoes that don’t even fit and have a clear wedge heel.  I mean what the fuck was I thinking?  Okay they were on sale, but right now all they are doing is taking up valuable space in my closet patiently waiting (in vain) their turn to be worn.  When they havent’ been worn in two years.

And I have an entire table of articles I want to save.  Recipes I want to make, pages and pages of things that need filing, organizing, etc etc etc.  My mini apartment feels as if its slowly turning into a thrift shop.  And why?  Because I’m semi-afraid to get RID of stuff. 

Chuck Palahniuk once wrote:  “The things you wind up owing, wind up owning you.”  Can I get an amen?  Or does that quote fall on deaf ears?  I totally get it. 

Its like those people who buy a brand new car and then they worry about where they park it for fear of it getting scratched.  They stress over every piece of grease the road throws on it.  Or every beverage that is toted into its interior.  And the fear of it spilling.

Guess what?  Your car is GOING to get scratched.  And dusty and dirty and old.  These are THINGS.  They do not elevate your self-worth or value by virtue of ownership.  I remember when all those people had their savings lost in the Bernie Madoff scandal.  I guess I felt bad for them.  Even though they made and lost more money that I’ll ever have in a lifetime of paychecks.  What they were left with may not have been much.  Still they were far better off than the victims of Katrina, or the Tsunami victims in Japan, or any tornado-torn city in the Midwest. 

I think those Buddists, minimalists were onto something.  For now I’m gonna keep it simple, sort through it all and get rid of the nonsense.  Ratty shoes and all.